I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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