So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
