Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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