Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I don't deserve a penis
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
