i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
