I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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