No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
