I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Even my vagina gasped.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
