I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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