im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize