What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
