Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
