Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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