In the future we'll all be gay
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
