Say something about gay babies.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
