Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
