He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
