I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I can't put those talents on a resume
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
