guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
