i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
you had me at cake vodka
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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