Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
