Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
