matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
