Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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