Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
