Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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