Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
