just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
