Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
