but the lizard people decide everything anyway
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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