Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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