if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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