Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
