tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Randomize
