He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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