You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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