so that wasnt chicken after all
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just high enough for therapy.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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