Buhtt sex?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
