sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize