And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
