Your face is a jimmy john
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
