yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
