You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
