Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
