So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize