just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
