so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
This is classic penis vs brain.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
