I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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