you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
