There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
