jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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