There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We have so much sex to catch up on
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
