Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
