I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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