Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize