Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
