i jhust puked up my retainher.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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