Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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