My nipple is on Facebook.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize