forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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