I need help removing her.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
BRING THE BAGELS
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize